Breaking The Bondage Of Shyness And Finding Freedom With Women.

Look at me. Dead in the eyes.

I’ve got something important to tell you and I don’t want you to miss it.

What I’m going to tell you might frustrate you, anger you, or even make you feel sad, but you need to hear it.

Are you ready?

“You’re already completely free around women.”

What reaction do you have when you hear that?

Is it happiness? Do you want to tell me I’m wrong? Do you get frustrated with hearing this and not knowing what it really means?

Whatever comes up for you, that’s fine.

Stay with it, then listen to me.

I want you to imagine yourself on a street corner, standing in the morning sun. You crawled out ofbed with enough time to shower, shave, and have something to eat, before making your way off to work.

As you stand on the street corner, waiting patiently at the traffic lights, with other people all making their way to work slowly filling the empty space around you, a short, bubbly, brunette with clear green eyes and the most flawless skin you’ve ever seen walks up beside you.

As you turn to catch a glimpse of your new traffic light companion, she looks up at you and flashes the warmest, most radiant smile you’ve ever seen before looking back at the lights ahead.

Then the thoughts start:

“You should just say hi. She’s nice, she’s friendly, she’s beautiful, you know you want to, why don’t you just do it? Because there are other people around? Who cares??? You do, that’s for sure…”

You want to say “Hi”. You know she’d be fine with it. You know that all you have to do is turn and open your mouth but it just doesn’t happen.

The lights change, she starts to walk across the road, that perfect little package walking out of your life, and your chance is gone.

Again.

So what stopped you from talking to her? What prevented you from doing what you wanted?

Was it the people around you?

Might be…. But how did they stop you? They just stood there, just the same as you were. They didn’t physically restrain you. They didn’t tape your mouth shut. You thought about them and didn’t do what you wanted to.

Does that mean it was the thoughts in your head that stopped you from doing what you wanted?

Might be… But how did they stop you? They were just there. You managed to turn and face the street whilst thinking so why couldn’t you just turn and face her? They didn’t physically stop you doing anything, they were just there. You had the thoughts and then decided not to do what you wanted to.

Does that mean it was the fear that stopped you from doing what you wanted?

Might be… But you managed to walk across the road whilst being scared, why couldn’t you just open your mouth? You can physically move whilst experiencing fear, why couldn’t you just move your mouth instead of your feet? The fear didn’t stop you being free, you experienced fear and then decided not to do what you wanted to.

So, here’s the really fun part.

You can’t learn to be free. You can’t gain freedom. You can’t work towards it. Because you already have it.

Not talking to her was the greatest expression of your freedom. You, in a moment of pure freedom, decided to exercise your basic life freedoms by not talking to the woman standing next to you.

Standing there, watching her cross the road was another expression of pure freedom. You could have walked after her, you could have sat on the ground, you could have taken all your clothes off and danced a merry jig, but you didn’t. Your purest expression of your freedom was to stand still and watch her walk out of your life.

You are already free and you’re choosing to use that freedom to not do what you want.

You can’t learn something you already know. You can’t gain something you already have. You can’t work towards something when you’re already there.

Becoming free to approach, flirt, play with, and seduce women isn’t a matter of developing the skill of freedom.

It’s a matter of learning how to make new decisions with the freedom that exists in every moment of your life.

This might seem like a small and unimportant distinction for you but it’s HUGE.

If you think that you have to develop some unattainable skill that takes years and years of practice and hard work, then the road ahead will seem daunting and frivolous.

But, if you can see that you already have everything you’ve ever wanted but just have to learn to use it better, then the road is simpler, easier, and FAR more fun.

You don’t have to learn to be free. You just have to start making new decisions with your freedom.

Don’t believe me? Try this:

Next time you see a woman that you want to approach but think you’re not able to, just hold that thought in your head.

Stand there, marinating on the idea that you don’t have the freedom necessary to approach her.

Then, as you’re contemplating this ‘lack of freedom’, I want you to start walking towards her.

Just one step at a time.

You don’t have to do anything once you get to her. You can just walk past her. The point here isn’t to pick her up or have her going down on you in the bathrooms, it’s just to prove to yourself that you actually have the freedom to do what you want, you’re just not making empowering decisions with this freedom.

Now, I’m not saying that from this moment on, every moment of your life is going to be free,powerful, and open; that you’re going to do exactly what you want in every moment.

Don’t get me wrong.

You might suddenly explode forth from your self-imposed prison of frustration and denial. But you would be an exception rather than the rule.

This is a start. And every journey has to start somewhere.

But where to from here? Next time, walk towards her and make eye contact. Then maybe smile. Then maybe say “Hi’. Take it one step at a time and learn to make new decisions with this freedom that you’ve been using to crush your dreams for so long.